1. Is Thomas Ryan a real person? We think so.
2. What is it exactly that you do at Thomas Ryan? We’re not entirely sure. That has never been discussed, nor is it in any form of position description or employee handbook. We do attend a lot of meetings and team-building events, and Thomas does send out a lot of office-wide emails with tasks and deadlines. Whether or not the tasks are germane to the mission of Thomas Ryan or not is still unknown.
3. Is there a dress code at the Thomas Ryan office? Not really-though we think there should be. Seth came in one day wearing a pair of Capri pants…not sure what that was about. The only required clothing is on Casual Friday when we are allowed to wear any kind of top that has a picture of Thomas Ryan on it. These shirts go well with the mandatory Thomas Ryan coffee mugs, desk calendars, and mouse pads we were required to purchase and use in our cubicles.
4. Do you have health and dental cover? Yes. It’s a cafeteria plan. If we use a certain medical/dental service, we pay for it. If we don’t use the service[s] then we don’t pay a dime for it. Thomas covers 50% of the unused service fees in a company match program he developed.
5. If you get hurt on the job, do you get Worker’s Comp? Thomas takes every precaution to ensure that the company is not held liable for injuries on the premises.
6. Is the pay competitive? Thomas assures us that the pay scale at Thomas Ryan is far higher than every and any third-world country. He guarantees this in writing, and every new-hire signs a document verifying that they received notice of this pay comparison.
7. Is Thomas Ryan a Green Company? Yes. Thomas is very adamant that we reduce our carbon-footprint, so we are required to dispose of all of our trash in the neighboring business’ dumpster.
8. Have there been many lawsuits within the Thomas Ryan office? Yes. Thomas has litigated against many employees for many reasons. All of which were immediately thrown out of court.