Well, after a bit of a wait, Judd returned to the office with his plan to save young Seth from the Apple Store. He was carrying a large, three-ring binder that was almost bulging with pages, and it appeared quite heavy.
“Good God, man.” I said as he let the binder thump on the conference room table. “You did all that in two evenings?”
Judd looked a bit perplexed, and then smiled. “This? No.” He replied. “This my collection of pages from military field manuals I downloaded off of Google.”
Evidently Judd spends a lot of time online learning all he can about the US military, but with the convenience of never actually having to join up and/or serving in it. According to him. these pages, all compiled in what he calls “The Situation Room,” are going to assist us in our mission to rescue Seth.
From what I understand, The Situation Room is actually the laundry room in his mother’s basement. It is, in his words, the only place where he can “…train, plan, lead his team of special operations PS3 soldiers on covert missions, and surf the web…privately.” Judd went to explain that The Situation Room was also a place where he could prevent the government from spying on his online activities.
“It’s the humidity from the dryer that fogs the signals the NSA uses to infiltrate my web connection.” Judd explained without provocation. “Well, that and all the dryer sheets I stapled to the walls surround my desk. No Wi-Fi signals can penetrate dryer sheets and humidity.”
“How then do you surf the web?” I asked cautiously, fearing the answer.
“With the Micron 2000 Wi-Fi Booster I bought off of Ebay. It’s the same device used by Mossad to hack into their enemy’s wireless networks.” Judd answered in a proud tone.
At this point, I couldn’t help but ask. “Couldn’t the government use the same device against you?”
Judd let out an exasperated sigh, dropped his head, and then answered. “It only boosts one way. If I’m boosting my signal, their signal would be deflected by the beam, humidity, and the dryer sheets. Don’t you know anything about technology?”
Clearly, I do not.
This is man we are relying on to get our Seth back…
Until next time,