The Enigma: Thomas Ryan

Hi all, Seth here,

As many of you already know, Thomas is very diligent in keeping up with current affairs and he is already taking drastic measures to prepare for the new Health Care Law.  This by no means denotes that he understands the law, but he has taken careful measures to assist him in learning all he can about this new, Federal requirement.

Thomas hired Ovidu, a Romanian “Business man” he met while on holiday in Greenland over the Christmas Hiatus to read and interpret the new law.  Fearing potential issues with the translation, Thomas included Jose, our Japanese interpreter in this project, and thus, the end result was about what you can imagine it was.

Turns out, Thomas, as an employer of more than 10 staff, but less than 10.75 staff is 4.35% exempt from inclusion of the last appendix entry of paragraph b, pp 2-3, but the exclusion[s] of sub-table II, paragraph 4-g, unless the company and/or firm is owned by or employs members of the opposite gender, notwithstanding other genders based on heredity, creed, or religious preferences as noted in appendix H, p 2.3.4, paragraph 5-h.

Thomas was very happy to learn that he is also exempt from inclusion in the exemptions listed on pp12,378-20,456 where it clearly states that “Employers that routinely employ employees of the same or different political affiliations, but not parties of political stature and balance, are exempt from the inclusions of the exemptions to the inclusions thereby negating the need for exemption from the inclusions listed in but quantified in, the above listed exemption clause therein.”

After the meeting, Thomas called a full-staff conference and was delighted to announce that no cuts to staffing will have to be made, and that we will continue to work without being charged for health coverage unless of course, we use the health services of hospitals, clinics, or dental offices.

What a relief!

Anyway, that’s it from here.



Writer & Artist. Seriously, that's all I do.

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