As many of you have noticed, we here at Thomas Ryan have not posted in awhile-seven days to be exact-and that ‘s quite a blogging faux pas.
Hi folks, Bill McClure, Senior Editor here.
You folks may remember that the staff of Thomas Ryan was sent out to the community armed with mobile devices, and what was perceived by many community members as ‘deadly weapons,’ and thus, we were as expected, arrested.
When I called Thomas Ryan, who was at the beach with his family at the time of our arrest, he assured me that he would get us the very best legal representation…
After about 3 days of incarceration, many of us began to lose faith, and our fears intensified-well, almost all of our fears-Seth, our young, junior editor was fortunate enough to meet a fellow cell occupant named ‘Grease’ who was more than happy to ‘protect’ Seth. This protection would not cost Seth any money, but…well, enough about that.
Anyway, Thomas Ryan did send us legal representation, and at first the guy seemed very erudite in the ways of the law and the justice system. We were very optimistic until Braderick [the legal guy] admitted that he was “not a lawyer per se,” but rather, he has in fact watched every episode of ‘Boston Legal‘…twice.
Brad was also very proud to disclose that he was providing his legal expertise pro bono, and that we should be rest assured that he will search Netflix for the best Boston Legal episodes that would help him with our case just as soon as his mom gives him his internet privileges back.
Eventually we were released with a pending court date, and Braderick managed to get himself detained by the police for unknown reasons. What we do know is that he apparently started a nude hunger strike outside the Sheriff’s office, and I guess he chained himself to a parking meter and refused to leave at the commands of the Deputies-who were not too stingy with the tazer electricity.
At any rate, we’re back in the offices of Thomas Ryan, and our email in boxes contained a communique from Thomas. Evidently he was not too pleased at all the time-off we had, and he was very adamant that we ‘lacked work ethic,’ and so on.
In this email, Thomas also declared that the release of a new employee directive was imminent – just as soon as Brad’s mother bonded him out of jail.
Until we meet again,