As many of you know, I am very concerned about the end of the world, and the resulting infestation of zombies in Suburban America.
My hypothesis is that zombies are created by the FCC and Hollywood, and regular people are slowly being turned into zombies by watching way too much T.V.
After years and years of watching the same tired old bollocks on American sit-coms, every day people soon lose the will to live. Their blood will coagulate until it just stops flowing, thus, turning the once living, breathing masses into the ‘undead.’
Soon the suburbs will be filled with zombies, trolling about looking for normal people to attack with sit-com platitudes, moral stories, and unlikely positive-outcome clichés.
Before long, normal people will have no escape-coffee houses, restaurants, and other once sterile environments will be totally contaminated with T.V.
Sit-coms, morning shows, talk shows, and even those dysfunctional daytime judicial shows. Soon there will be no escape from this mind-numbing drivel, and many once normal people, will become zombies.
Hand-to-hand zombie combat; coming to your neighborhood?
Find out on the next episode of: Thomas Ryan