Greetings from the cyberspace of Jacksonville, Florida where we are still searching for the elusive jobs that so many have failed to capture. Accompanied by the intrepid expert job hunter, blogger, part-time ‘artist’ and philosopher Malcolm P. Ceeker who was with us in Part One, we carry on with our quest for employment.
As you may remember, this is not an endeavor for the fainthearted, and one certainly doesn’t trek these lands without indigenous guides to assist with security and navigation. Thankfully, we have a small band of Google Tribe Warriors to provide us with just that, and thus, we can continue on with our journey.
It didn’t take long for the Google Tribe Warriors to begin frantically jabbering in keywords, SEO phrases, guttural sounds and clicks. “What are they saying, Malcolm?” I ask excitedly.
“Shh!” Malcolm holds up his index finger and is gazing intently ahead. “It’s a government job-the most dangerous of them all-quickly-grab the laptop and crouch down.”
I do as instructed and notice the Google Tribe Warriors are also preparing themselves for battle. They grab their USB cords and computer mice, and begin to swing them in small circles at their sides. Clearly, these warriors have done battle with government jobs before.
“I can smell you, you rat bastard.” Malcolm growls as he skillfully types his user name and password to log onto a job search site. “Arm yourself, lad! Grab a bloody Resume!” he warns as he scans the home page options.
I desperately fumble through my computer bag slung over my shoulder. My nerves are shattered. As I move, I can’t help but second-guess if I would be able to soil myself for protection in the event the government job attacks. It was right about then we heard the loud rustling in the hyperlinks on the screen.
Moments later, with absolutely no warning, the-
Thomas Ryan – firstname.lastname@example.org