Job Interview:10 things not to say

  1. Can we hurry this up? I really have to poop.
  2. Jesus came to me in a vision and told me I’d get this job.
  3. What would my former employer say about me? Nothing, he/she died mysteriously.
  4. I took the liberty of learning where you live.
  5. I do have experience with windows-I’ve sneaked through a lot of them.
  6. Does this job require travel? I’m wanted in seven states.
  7. I  don’t know why there are gaps in my employment history either.
  8. Rest assured, I believe everything on my CV is accurate.
  9. If hired, I may have to take some time off soon, depending on the verdict.
  10. Why do I want to work here?  Because I need a fucking job, that’s why!


Thomas Ryan –


Writer & Artist. Seriously, that's all I do.

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