Is there an APP to teach lunk-heads like me how to use APPs?

I hear about and see adverts for the types of gadgets that use them, and the millions of APPs that can be downloaded to them.  But I have no idea what in hell I would do with something like that.

Do I really need to track the whereabouts of some Hollywood chimp?  And do I really need to know if some dude in the cafe is checking me out…wait…yeah, I might need to know that so I can avoid an embarrassing moment.

Seriously, I have a 30$, Samsung, pre-paid phone that allows me to call out, and receive calls.  I can text if I so chose, and I don’t mind that it takes me forever to type one word with my thumb.  The person receiving the text [my wife] can wait for me to finish the word.

Finally, my archaic phone has fun games on it, so I can bowl 10 frames while sitting on the pooper.  My guess is there’s and APP to help do that as well.  I’ll never know.


Thomas Ryan –


Writer & Artist. Seriously, that's all I do.

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