As the popularity of this blog grows, I have initiated an aggressive marketing campaign geared towards attracting more readers and followers to this blog.
Clearly, the staff are getting restless as many have begun to ignore my direct order to wear gel-mets as part of their proper uniform.
I think the gel-met is an appropriate expression of one’s love of hair gel, and is an artistic statement of fashion rebellion. Plus, it scares the hell out of the aliens we encounter in certain parts of the US.
My guess is that the aliens have become concerned that they will have to spend their entire government subsidies on hair gel in order to assimilate into their new homeland.
As an attempt to win the “hearts and minds” of the aliens we meet, I have ordered the staff to distribute $1 off coupons for hair gel. My hope is to ease their worries, and thus, facilitate the creation of a world or community of gel-met wearing peoples.